Until a couple of years ago I used to take pride in calling myself an 'antifeminist.' I had my reasons, which are the same reasons that make me a feminist now, but I was still wrong.
I've wanted to write this post since the word 'feminist' started to be butchered by the Women against Feminism movement--not that it hadn't been before, but this has more or less given voice to something we all thought at some point in our lives: feminists are those man-hating, hairy and frustrated lesbians who make life impossible with their radical ideas and crazy acts. At least, the very existence of the website is a constant reminder that there is something wrong in this vision, and I admire Emma Watson for pointing this out. It is the speech she delivered at the UN for #HeForShe that further inspired my post. The full version can be found here. It is a very powerful speech, and I agree with everything she said. But it is not only the speech itself that was powerful. But let's do this in order.
Why was I wrong? I was more or less one of those. I have always believed in gender equality, but I have always thought that there were flaws in the feminist movement, that it contradicted itself and its very purpose, and that what we should seek for is equality through the display of equality, and not by contrast. More or less, this is what I still believe, and it is where I was wrong: feminism seeks equality, not domination, over men. Real feminists don't belittle men, and they don't diminish their value to strengthen their own. I understand how it may appear so sometimes, and I understand that maybe in the past more 'radical' action was needed to be noticed, but this goes against feminist ideas in the first place, or at least my own vision of feminism (I have never read anything about feminism, so I welcome criticism here). Real strength is in choice.
I am talking about choice here because, as loose as my ideas may sound, I think that every woman's decisions should be the product of choice. I think that a woman can be a feminist and still be sexualised, if she wants to (Beyoncé is the living example). I think a woman can be a pornstar, if her choice to be one hasn't been conditioned by a certain environment. On the other hand, I think a woman should be hairy if she wants to, or a stay-home mum if she wants to, or she should be free to ojectivise men when men are objectivising women and not be ashamed to do so, if this is what she wants. It is obvious that gender equality is still (!) not there, even when such silly examples come to mind, but it is in this that feminism can help - the good feminism, the real one, the one that doesn't seek equality through victimism but through pure and honest egalitarianism (which is probably the best word to describe the movement.)
And as Emma Watson explains, real feminism does not forget about men. Men are very often the victims of a form of sexism that kills on both sides, and men should also be valued for what they do, because they don't "just do it" only because they're men. So everyone should be a feminist - or an egalitarian.
As I mentioned before, her speech is different, and powerful. Yes, her words are powerful, but it is her who makes the difference here in two ways: the words of a celebrity who inspires the young generations are powerful because it is those generations that are affected by the demonisation of the word, and those words can reach to a larger audience with better results. Plus, her words may also work for that slice of her fans who drool over her and sexualise her: she is hot and we're all happy to say that, but she's also a feminist, and she can be both without sounding like an oxymoron.
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